Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize