PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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