Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize