im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This baby is an asshole
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize