This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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