you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
