JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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