guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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