you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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