You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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