I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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