We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
