My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
