Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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