Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
