just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
