It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
