I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
