new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
