She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
