yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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