I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
