Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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