I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
