But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
