i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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