i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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