it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
