You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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