Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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