I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
