Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
