That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
