I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
do nipples grow back?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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