areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize