Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
