i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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