I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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