This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
