If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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