"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
