would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
