I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just gift wrapped bread.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
