He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
