let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
