they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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