I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
