u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
