if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
