I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
