think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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