i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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