I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
