What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
