I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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