if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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