she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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