I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
bring money and cleavage
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
