I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
