i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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