We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
